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It’s difficult to “fall” in love when you aware where the pit holes are. We believes most of our selections in intimate partner selection merely based on our own judgement within consciousness. However it’s not. At least in the perspective of Freud’s sexual theory and 4 attraction fundamental in the pursuit of human need: physiological need, safety, belonging and esteem as proposed by Maslow.

This is not for someone who still want to living in ignorance. Ignorance is a bliss but the curiosity could kill the cat. I develop this eye lenses by observing and analyzing my past relationship and certain individual who I had attracted to. It such a high risk strategy since I knew I might no longer interested to build relationships with new women since I would see the superficiality of how those bonds are created.

To be honest, my observation started at age 15 years old where I started questioning myself either this feeling I bear is love or lust. How am I could distinguish between True Love or Lustful desires? Started with why we desires to establish of those relationship? It is human nature as social animal and we never meant to be alone. And it raises to another question why people need others, why I need them? and how people attracted to each other.

We behaved based on reasons or desires or both. There is no event exist without accident. They all have certain reason which our mind could never comprehend them except to those mind that have awakened from the illusion of this world. Why we seek partner? We looking for stability of the existential reason. To provide balance in physiological needs, safety, belonging or love, and esteem to who we are. Merely to fulfill the existential reason. To fulfill that, desires play the biggest role’s on how we fulfill those reasons.

You might wonder why we attracted toward others. I reluctantly to share this since it took away my “ignorance in loving” means I could ‘see’ why she liked me or why she attracted to me. Which brings to me to feelings of superficiality in “love” of their claim since you actually could manipulate other with these factors. It’s hard me to “fall” in love like most romantic drama and film which I always watched. There is 4 fundamental of human attraction; Sexual Attraction, Sensual attraction, Romantic Attraction and Platonic Attraction. Understand these, you could use these as foundation to manipulate others. Even in marketing used this fundamental without realizing it. Almost everything happens in subconscious mind.

It brings to me my first question what is true love? The pure love. After 10 years, I realized I was searching the Love from The Most Loving. No superficiality from lustful desires and there is no love exist in this world could compare with it. To receive that Love, we need to free our heart from earthly desires and attachment like women, wealth or any materialistic things. I spoke out loud when I heard the dialogue from any female characters in film said: “I don’t want anything else besides your heart” with my quick reply “Nope. It belongs to the Most Loving”.

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