For the last 5 years, I suffered with random memory flashback and brings back memory so far at my youngest age I could remember which 5 years old. As a graduate engineer, in the subject of ControlSystemTheory which is the subject explaining about PID controller and it share the similar mechanism with our memory.
To live in true means you are not living the past neither living at future. But rather living in present. However we can not abandoned the existence of memory. In engineering terms, the purpose of this memory or we called them as feedback that send to control unit to control the output or effect away from the received feedback. It is amazing since the clearest memory in our brain is mostly the memory of pain and suffering. We could remember the face who give distress to us compared from the one who gives comforts to us. Like troublemaker student in school, almost all teacher could remember him clearly compared to well discipline student, or, you could not forget the rejection or breakup from your previous relationship rather than the experience of lovey-dovey while in relationship. In my case, I could still remember clearly sleeping without a shelter in midnight in the palm oil plantation while heavy downpour during my army training that made me redefine what is the true luxury is.
While we might want to free from the past or in Hindu-Buddhism philosophy — to be from from the karma. To let go the past does not mean we forget the past but rather memory exist mainly for self correcting the course of the self toward the right path. There is theory in my personal journal called “The Idea of tawaf” or circumambulation.
When someone who dear to us passed away. We cried in sadness but the cry itself is not for the dead, but it is for ourselves since we need to let go the memory of them and it is the hardest and painful for them. Which it is not if we recognize the memory we stored is simply the feedback to correct us toward the right path and it doesn’t even exist in the beginning. However, here I was talked about memories not memoirs.
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